My problem isn’t that I don’t get everything done….I just don’t leave any time for myself. I need to take more days to just zone out and be spontaneous and do something with my family or friends. The reason I don’t do it more often is because I almost feel guilty that “I could have fit this is in , or done that”.
You can’t make every moment scheduled, and I don’t want to; because you need some time to wind down / relax / do nothing OR do whatever you need to do to at that point depending on how you feel.
For me…being a mom and working from home has its challenges; sometimes I just can’t shut off. My home is my office; I don’t ever leave my job behind in another building, I LIVE HERE! If we are watching a movie together; I feel the need to try and do both; be present in the moment with my family, and also work on a project on my computer as well for example. I do not like feeling that way.
My clients are very important to me, I want to make sure everything is perfect, done as quick as possible and with no hiccups along the way. This can lead to me answering emails and messages at all times of the night. With every second of down time I have; I feel the need to try and better myself.
There is nothing wrong with trying to make yourself better; I’m not trying to say that isn’t a good thing….but there needs to be a line somewhere. When is it too much? I need to learn to say “NO” at times.
I want to be able to provide for my family. In order for me to do that, I need to get jobs and finish them in a timely manner and create a good name for myself in the process.
When it comes to me questioning how good of a wife/mother/friend, there are always questions that pop up in my head:
Am I present enough?
Is everyone happy?
Are my kids eating healthy enough? Because at times when I’m busy we do throw together last-minute things?
Am I teaching my kids enough; because I want them to learn?
Do they feel neglected during the day when I am busy? A lot of the time I know they are pretty independent in their own home….so I put most of my attention towards my other job?
Do my friends feel like I am ignoring them? Maybe they are saying that I think I’m too good for them now and that’s why we aren’t speaking as much….OR.....I hope they understand, life is just so busy sometimes!
On the other hand; I want to really push myself as far as I can go to be successful, and I want to show my kids that you need to work hard for what you want in life and sometimes it comes with sacrifices.
By no means have I figured this all out yet! I know there will be ups and downs; some weeks/days/months are busier than others and life throws complications and struggles at you.
What I have been trying to enforce to myself is to really try and manage my time. Figure out what “needs” to be done each day, organizing when I should try and work or complete this. After that, see what time you have left and set apart some down time. Do something for yourself or with the people you love!
It doesn’t matter what you do or where you are in your life….I think everyone struggles at times with finding a good balance. I know I am not alone in this!
What do you do to create a balance? Any tips on what works for you?